Hell's Angels
by MrsZeppelin
Summary: Five years down the road, Dean loses the woman he loves. Desperate, he goes back allying with his past self, past Sam and his past love to try and stop the moment that leads to her death. But nothing is ever that simple, is it?
1. What Could Have Been

As I was driving, I couldn't help but think about something. It was five years to the day that Sammy got his soul back. Even on this bright, sunny afternoon, it was weighing on me. I looked in the review mirror back at Ben.

"So, how'd you do on that math test last week?" I asked him.

He rolled his eyes. "I know my mom told you."

"Well, you shouldn't of cheated." Lisa said.

"Oh, come-"

"Listen to your mother!" I interrupted.

Ben sighed, folding his arms.

"You got any plans for your seventeenth birthday?"

He shrugged, not speaking to me. I smiled.

"Lis, your car's below a quarter of a tank." I said, disapproving.

"Well, we all don't have cars as precious as yours." she said with a laugh.

"All cars need some love." I said, smirking.

We would have been in the Impala if it were up to me, but my car wasn't at my motel this morning. I glared through the windshield of Lisa's tiny blue Hybrid. I knew who took the damn thing.

"Dean, you missed the turn in." Lisa said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Shit." I muttered, going to turn around.

Lisa smacked my arm. "Not in front of the kid!"

Ben and I chuckled. She folded her arms, mad.

I turned into the little restaurant. Once inside, they seated us in a little corner booth, took our drink orders and handed us our menus.

This place was nicer than the usual dive but it wasn't a gourmet restaurant by any means. The tables weren't rusted and splintered, the lights over each table actually worked, hell, you could even walk around barefoot if you wanted to. It was nicer in some ways but I still felt out of place.

Ben and I ordered the bacon cheeseburger and Lisa ordered a salad. Everything was going smoothly enough.

"I'll be right back." Ben said, sliding out of the booth.

"It's good to see you, Dean. I've missed you." Lisa said with a smile.

I smiled politely. "Ah, me too."

She looked down, frowning. I think she wanted a different response. She stabbed a few pieces of lettuce with her fork, debating something. I tensed instantly. She pushed the food back and turned towards me, a determined anger in her eyes. Then she leaned in to kiss me. I froze, stunned and then I pushed her away.

"Woah, woah, Lisa, what the hell are you doing?" I said, quietly, trying not to make a scene.

She looked down, embarrassed. "We need you back, Dean." she mumbled.

My eyes widened in shock. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm with someone." I said through my teeth, struggling to keep my voice down.

"Look, I screwed up." she said, meeting my eyes. "We're a family though, you have to realize that, you have to see that."

I rolled my eyes. "Look, I love the kid and I love you too but it's not like that anymore." I looked around at the room full of people. "Now really isn't the time to do this." I said, angry.

"It sure as hell is. You won't talk to me any other way." she said, angry, her eyes wide.

"Well then maybe you should take the hint." I said with a bitter smile.

She glared at me, a fire raging in her eyes. "So all that 'I belong with you and Ben' stuff, that was just a lie?" she said, folding her arms.

"Yeah, I guess it was. Just look at what happened." I hissed.

"Dean, I was wrong, okay? I admit that. You said you forgave me, why even bring it up?" she asked, instantly pleading.

"Look, regardless of any of it, I'm with someone right now, someone I really care about and someone who actually gives a damn about me."

"You know you belong with us." she said, putting her hand over mine. "With_me_."

I pulled my hand out from under hers, glaring. "No. I'm here for Ben. Ben! But not you."

She looked down, preparing to say more.

Just then, my phone rang, to my relief. I looked at the number. "I'll be right back, I gotta take this." I slid out of the booth, passing Ben on my way out the door.

I answered it once I was out in the parking lot. "Em, why'd you take my car? I thought Bobby was picking you up."

"It's me, ya idgit." Bobby said. "Emilia busted in at around four o' clock this morning. She carved this whole damn house up."

"Enochian protection spells?" I said, very used to this routine.

"Yeah. Now she's held up in the panic room. She kept me pinned to the wall for a good hour, Dean, I think she's getting worse."

My heart sank with fear. "Bobby, I need you to peak in there, let me know if you see any burns on her."

"Dean, I don't think she'll let me get that-"

"Just try!" I screamed. I paused for a second, collecting myself. "Sorry, Bobby but if this has anything to do with the demon in her, being in that room could kill her."

"I'm headed down there now."

"Thanks, Bobby."

"Balls! Hang on." Bobby set the phone down and I heard what sounded like the door to the panic room being opened.

"Bobby! What the hell is going on!"

"Boy, you should get here now. She's alive for now but she's definitely worse."

Suddenly, everything felt far away, like it was slipping. My stomach turned and my ears started ringing "How bad?" I asked, coldly.

I heard Emilia scream violently through the phone. I flinched. "That well, huh?" I mumbled. "Look, I'll be there in about an hour."

"M'kay, Dean. Be careful."

"Always am."

I snapped the phone shut and went back inside. "Lis, I gotta talk to you." I said, not even sitting down.

She slid out, confused and I walked with her just out of ear shot of Ben.

"The last thing I wanna do is ask you this but I need to take your car."

"Why?" she asked, folding her arms.

"Cuz someone I love is in trouble." I said, fear in my eyes.

"Fine. I'll drop Ben off at Roger's, then we go."

"No, Lisa, you can't go."

"The hell I can't! Look, I just made a fool out of myself and it's not what I wanna do either, but I have a shift in four hours."

I stared at her, debating. "Fine."

"Fine." she said, matching my tone.

The drive to Bobby's was the most awkward thing I'd ever been through. Even Zeppelin couldn't break that tension. She wasn't talking and neither was I. I had nothing to say. I almost apologized but I didn't want her to twist anything into it like me taking her back.

By the second half of the drive, I was able to forget about it. It was one of the damnedest things ever but knowing that I was gonna see Em soon actually calmed me down. But the awkward drive with my ex that wants me back almost being over might be calming me down too.

"Look, I'm sorry, Dean."

I was so used to the silence in the tiny cab of this car that her voice made me jump. "For what?" I asked, running through the list in my mind.

"All of it. For breaking your heart, for kicking you out, and for earlier at the restaurant. Anyone else and I never would've behaved like that but you got me all turned around, Dean."

"Maybe when I see Ben from now on, it should just be me and him."

She started shaking her head.

"Really, Lis, what you want from me, I'm not giving you. Hell, I tried and it all blew up in my face. I'm past it and you need to get past it too cuz all that now, it's just a mess. You can't fix things, you need to let it go and I think the best way for you to do that would be if you didn't see me anymore."

I rounded the corner and parked in front of Bobby's. I opened my door. I could see Bobby's head in the back of his truck. He probably had Em laid down there in the back. I turned to get out and Lisa grabbed my arm.

"Dean." she said, pleading.

I looked back at her. "What."

"You were going to marry me once." she whispered, her voice breaking. "Do you really think you have a future with Emilia? Do you really think you're gonna marry her?"

I chuckled. "Just stop it, Lis."

I got out fast, opening the door to the bed of Bobby's truck. Relief washed through me instantly. She was still in one piece.

"She's real out of it. A few screams now and again, she's tried to leave a few times. If anyone can get through to her though, it'd be you."

Just then, I heard Lisa get out of the car and her footsteps getting closer. But before I had time to respond, Em jerked up, gasping. So fast that I almost couldn't catch her, she tried to run off the truck bed. I grabbed her by her shoulders and sat her down.

I had never seen so much fear in her. Her whole body was shaking, she was sobbing, her eyes were.. indescribable. We still didn't have any explanation as to why this was happening. The only connection we could make is that it started right after she cut out her grace. I wanted her to take it back but she wouldn't hear of it. I even considered slipping it into something against her will but I always sided against it. But she was definitely worse now.

I held her head tightly in my hands. "Emilia, look at me!"

She started rocking back and forth.

"Sweetheart, I need you to tell me where you are! What are you seeing?"

"Dean." she whispered.

"I'm right here now, I need you to talk to me." I said, grateful that she could hear me.

"Chains."

"What else?"

"Blood. My blood."

"_Your_ blood?" I turned to Bobby. "These are more Hell flashbacks, aren't they?"

"Your guess is probably better than mine, she don't tell me all that stuff."

I turned back to her. "Sweetie, you're not in hell! Look at me!"

The shaking and the crying stopped. She was trying now.

"Em, stay with me." I begged.

Awareness flooded her eyes. Before I had time to even full realize, she locked her arms around me, almost knocking me down. I hugged her back, resting my chin on her head.

Just then, I heard a gasp. I turned to see what it was, keeping one arm around Em. She kept her arm around my waist. It was Lisa. She was staring at the ring on Em's hand.

"I'd.. better go." she said, walking quickly back to her car.

I felt bad but I didn't know what to say. There was nothing left to say.

"Who was that?" Em asked.

"Don't worry about it." I told her. "Let's get you inside."


	2. Let Go

Once she was herself again, I took her inside, Bobby following behind us. I laid her down on the couch, sitting on the floor by her. I couldn't hide the sadness in my eyes. She smiled weakly at me, putting her hand on the side of my face.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"Like I'm already dead."

I shuddered. "Don't talk like that."

Her eyes grew sad. "But it's worrying you, I can tell. You don't have to be scared, I'm not going anywhere."

I closed my eyes. I wanted to believe her, but I couldn't. I couldn't find any reassurance ever since all this started.

By her nature alone, Heaven and Hell wanted her. Her mother was a demon and her father was an angel, which to both sides makes her at best, an abomination. But it wasn't that simple. I'd eagerly fight off any danger that came her way if it were that simple.

What both sides wanted now was to turn her into a weapon against the other side. It was that kind of thinking that got her where she was in the first place.

A long time ago, before I was born, she was double-crossing demons on Heaven's side. She waltzed right into hell all wired up for the angels. She was a lot different now but back then, she trusted them, whole-heartedly. But the demons found her out and they strung her up just like that. The angels instantly cut ties to save their own feathery asses and Em was left there, an angel to be tortured in hell. It made me cringe just to think about it.

Ever since she went to hell, the demons had a way of getting into her head, making her see things, feel things, anything they wanted. They twisted, shook and broke her every way they could think of to try and turn her to their side and I always thought that if she held on and if I held on, she'd be okay. But now, it was out of control. I scoffed at myself for even thinking that the power of love or anything like that could stop all of it. Maybe in a fairytale. But this was no fairytale.

The girl I wanted to marry was dying right in front of me. I wouldn't be able to stop it. I shook my head, opening my eyes.

"You wanna tell me what's going on in that freaky head of yours?" she said, smirking.

"No, not really." I said, honestly.

She frowned, her eyes sad. Her breathing started shaking like she was going to cry.

I panicked, instantly. "Em, what's wrong?" I said, stroking the side of her face.

She gritted her teeth, getting mad at herself. "It's nothing."

"Tell me." I insisted, my tone already impatient. I hated it when she kept things from me... Well, when she _tried_ to. She always told me everything, eventually, like I was going to make her now.

"I just wanted you to believe that I'd be okay. Truth is, I'm so scared." she was crying now.

Tears flooded my eyes. "Listen to me. I won't let you die. I don't care if it's the last thing I do, I won't let it happen." I said, angry.

"I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of leaving you."

Tears fell from my eyes and I buried my face in the couch. I didn't know what to say to her.

She kissed the top of my head. "Wherever I go, I'm going to miss you."

I looked up at her, a few tears escaping. "Stop." I whispered.

"Stop what?" she asked, hurt.

"Please just don't talk like that. I can't take it."

Whether she said it or not, the truth hung in the air and as I looked at her and she looked back at me, we both knew. I leaned in, kissing her cheek, leaning my head into her neck.

"As long as you're alive, I won't give up." I chuckled. "Hell, even then."

She chuckled. "You have to be good. For Sam. Don't do anything stupid for him and for me."

I didn't know what to say. Thinking about it, I honestly didn't know what I would do.

She chuckled again. "Stop thinking about it. You're going to stay for your brother. He's family after all. I'm just some random chick." she stifled a laugh.

"That's not funny." I said, grinning, despite myself.

She shrugged. "Eh, it's a little funny."

I woke up the next day, holding Emilia. I felt absolutely drained. I got up, careful not to wake her and stretched after being scrunched up on the couch. I still didn't feel better. I grabbed my phone, instantly knowing who I was going to call. I pressed number one on my speed dial and hit talk.

"Dean?" Sam answered on the first ring.

"Hey Sammy, how are you and the wife?"

"We're good. Just got back from Greece."

"Why the hell did you go to Greece?"

"Because the only blade that can kill this.. I don't know what the hell it is.. is there."

"The Alpha Llamia?" I asked.

"Yeah, that. If you're calling about that, I'll send the phone over to Jess, she's a lot better with all that."

"Hey Dean!" she yelled in the background.

"No, no, dude, I called to talk to you, actually.. Um, tell Jess I said hi."

"Dean says hi."

"Tell him to drag Em back here soon, I need to see her!" Jess said.

"You get that?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, about that.." I began, getting serious. "Look, Em isn't doing well." I said, my voice shaking. "We, ah, don't think she's gonna make it."

It was quiet for a second. "Who's we?"

"Well.. Me and Em... And Bobby, maybe, I haven't had a chance to talk to him about it yet." I said, my voice dead.

Again it was quiet.

"Sam?" I asked.

"Dean, listen to me. We will save her. Even if she does die, it isn't too late. It's never too late. I don't want you to worry. We'll figure this out, there's always a way."

I smiled, relaxed by his words. "Damn, now I think I know why I spent all those years drilling that into your freakish head."

"Why?" she said, still serious.

"So when I flew off the handle, you could remind me who the hell I am." I said, feeling a bit better.

"Sam, if something's wrong, we should get down there." I heard Jess say. "Even if something isn't, we should see them."

"Looks like Jess and I are coming, Dean."

I wanted to tell them not to trouble themselves, and don't worry about it but the truth was that I needed my brother. Now more than ever, I needed him. "Thank you." I said, grateful.

"We're gonna head out. We'll see you soon. Just take it easy."

"Okay, Sammy." I said, honestly trying.

"Kay, good. Talk to you later."

The second the line went dead, the same unrelenting pessimism flooded back into my head.

"Hope you don't mind my saying, but you look like hell, Dean." Bobby said, popping up in the doorway of his little living room.

"All things considered, I think I look okay."

Bobby nodded with polite smile. "Sure, kid."

"How do you do this, Bobby?" I whispered. "What was it like when you lost her?"

Under most circumstances, I wouldn't bring it up. It upset him to talk about it but I had to know. I had to know if I had any hope of living through what I was about to go through.

"Well.. It wasn't pretty. There's nothing more painful in this whole God-forsaken crap hole." he said, swallowing hard. "But you live. Slowly, other things will start to matter again. Still hurts just as bad and you never stop missin' 'em but you find other reasons to keep pushin' forward again."

I looked over at Em and I couldn't believe Bobby. I had no idea how I could have any sort of a life without her. She was the one, she was my soul mate. How the hell could I make it without her?

"I hope you're right." I mumbled. I kept my eyes on Em, dragging my feet over to the couch, falling down to the floor by her. I stroked her cheek with the back of my hand. But as I watched her, something was wrong.

At first, I thought she looked peaceful, but now she looked too peaceful. She looked... No. No, no, no, no, no.

"Em?" I asked, my eyes wide.

She didn't respond. A wave of pain rushed me. I shook her, frantically. "Em!" I yelled, tears flooding out of my eyes.

Nothing. I curled up into a ball, letting the agony take me. I felt Bobby pulling me towards him and I locked my stiff and shaking arms around him.

"It's okay, son." Bobby said.

I was sobbing, my whole body aching in pure agony. "She can't be." I choked out.

Bobby took his hand and checked her pulse. I felt him shake his head.

"No, no, no, no." I mumbled.

I stood up, sitting her up and putting my arms around her. I lifted her lifeless head to me.

"Emilia, look at me." I swallowed hard, pulling her onto my lap.

"No, no, no" I chanted. As I held her lifeless body, everything as I knew it collapsed.


	3. Oh, Death

I sat there, numb. Emilia's body was strewn over my lap. I couldn't leave her. I knew she wasn't in there but I still wouldn't move. Bobby sat across the room, his eyes never leaving my face. He jumped at the knock on the door but I barely heard it. It was Sam and Jess.

"Hey, Bobby." I heard Sam say. He still didn't know yet.

Bobby didn't say anything, he just let them in and took his old seat across from me again.

They were silent - in shock, I imagined - as they took in the scene. I probably didn't look a thing like myself. If the hell going on inside of me at that moment showed at all on the surface, I bet I looked downright scary. And the way Emilia's body was awkwardly laid over me wouldn't reassure them. They knew.

Bobby sniffled. "He won't leave her. I don't even think he's hearin' me now."

"Bobby, we have to bring her back. " Sam said, all business. "There has to be something we can do."

"Aside from crossroads demons, I don't know of a damn thing."

Bobby's next words screamed in my head. "Plus, the demons probably have her right where they want her now."

My head snapped up at Bobby, my glare, murderous. As far gone as I was, I probably would have hit him. Maybe more than that. They all looked at me, fear in all of their eyes. They didn't need to worry. I still wasn't moving.

But Bobby's words pulled me back to the surface, making the pain surprisingly fresh. It reminded me of hell. Just when you think there's nothing left that can be consumed, it all starts over.

I let in a jagged breath and lifted my eyes to Sam's. "She's gone, Sammy." I said, my voice dead.

Sam walked over to me. "Not for long. I promise, we'll work this out."

Just then, Em's eyes snapped open. She locked her hand around my throat. Her eyes were black and vicious. It probably wasn't her in there but I still couldn't bring myself to fight her off. Sam pulled her off of me. She was kicking and screaming, thrashing against him. With a loud roar, Sam, Jess and Bobby hit the wall across from me. She had them pinned and her eyes locked with mine. I stared back at her, my eyes wide.

She grabbed my throat again, lifting me off the couch. I choked and kicked, but I couldn't fight it very well. Sam pushed against her hold viciously, trying to help me.

As I looked down at her, her black eyes became torn. She dropped me, closing her eyes. She was about to do something but I couldn't tell what. She opened her eyes, her jaw clenched. But her eyes weren't black. They were blue again. Before I had time to even realize, she picked me up, slinging me over her shoulders, practically flying down the stairs to Bobby's panic room. On the way down, I heard Bobby, Jess and Sam hit the ground.

She closed the door behind us and slammed me down onto the bed, locking down my hands.

But it was burning her to be in that room. She couldn't stay there, I wouldn't let her.

"Emilia, you have to get out of here!" I told her, instantly pulling against my restraints.

Right at that moment, I realized. I realized why she was tying me down and why she was in that room.

"Em, no." I whispered.

She nodded. "I don't have a choice."

"Yes you do, you can fight it!"

She nodded, smiling. "And this is how."

She leaned in kissing me. I eagerly kissed her back. She pulled away, her face twisted in pain. She managed a smile, putting her hand on the side of my face. "Shut your eyes." she told me

She stood back, her eyes never leaving my face. "Regna terrae, cantate Deo, psallite Domino qui fertis super caelum caeli ad Orientem, Ecce dabit voci Suae vocem virtutis, tribuite virtutem Deo." she screamed, falling to her knees.

"Stop it!" I yelled, furious. This wasn't just some demon possessing her that she was exorcising, it was herself. I couldn't let her do it. It would kill her.

She gritted her teeth. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica." she said, screaming again.

Sam started banging on the door. He couldn't get in. Em was keeping the door closed.

"Emilia, please." I begged.

She looked up at me, determined. "Ergo draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica adjuramus te. cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque aeternae Perditionis venenum propinare. Vade, Satana, inventor et magister omnis fallaciae, hostis humanae salutis. Humiliare sub potenti manu dei, contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomine, quem inferi tremunt." black smoke started puffing out of her mouth as she spoke, but she didn't scream this time. She continued. "Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine. Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos. Ut inimicos sanctae Ecclesiae humiliare digneris, te rogamus, audi nos. Ut inimicos sanctae Ecclesiae te rogamus, audi nos. Terribilis Deus de sanctuario suo. Deus Israhel ipse truderit virtutem et fortitudinem plebi Suae. Benedictus Deus. Gloria Patri."

"No!" I screamed, pulling as hard as I could against my restraints. Sam ran in, quickly picking my locks.

I jumped up, quickly running to her. But Sam stopped me, grabbing me by my shoulders.

"Dean, don't." he told me.

"Sam, I have-"

"No. She's not in there, not anymore."

"I don't care."

"Maybe I do."

I paused. "Sam, this isn't about you, now just leave us alone."

"Sorry, can't do that. You're gonna get away from that corpse and you're gonna get your head on straight so we can get Emilia back. That's all there is to it."

I couldn't argue with him. I remembered what I told him earlier. If anyone could keep me sane, if anyone had my best interest at heart, it was Sam. I might not care anymore, but he did. Maybe... I should just trust him. He was always begging me to trust him, just once.

"Okay, Sammy."

Right there, I decided Sam was calling the shots. I was too weak to even begin to handle everything. He'd be strong in all the ways I couldn't be, I knew it.

"Don't worry, Dean. We'll get her back."

I nodded. "Just tell me what I have to do."

I went back up stairs, following Sam, trying to treat this just like any other job. He stepped out to grab a few things and I took a seat by Bobby's desk, putting my head down. Jess sat across from me. I felt her eyes on me but she didn't say anything, she just put her hand on my shoulder.

That was one of the things I loved about Jessica. She didn't ask me a million and one questions just to try and ease her own worry, she just knew how to give someone like me exactly what they needed. Nothing more, nothing less. I put my hand over hers and smiled at her, my eyes sad. She smiled back at me, a single tear falling from her eye.

After all, Jess really loved Emilia. If it wasn't for Em, she wouldn't have been here now.

Sam came in a moment later, a Ouija board in his hands. He set it on the desk.

"First things first." he said, pulling a chair up next to Jessica's.

"You think she's here?" I asked, skeptical.

He shrugged. "I have no idea, but we have to start checking things off the list, starting with this."

He looked at the board then up at me. Wearily, I put my fingers on the scope.

"Em?" I croaked, clearing my throat. "Are you here?"

My heart started pounding as the scope moved across the board to _yes_.

I laughed. "Why did you do that, Em? Are you okay?"

"One question at a time." Sam said.

I nodded. "Are you okay, Em?"

She spelled out _"Don't worry."_

I chuckled. "Yeah, like that's gonna stop me.. Why did you do that?"

She spelled out _"I was going to kill you."_

"Right, 'cause this is is so much better." I mumbled to myself.

She spelled out. _"Smart ass."_

I laughed but then something choked me up. Something I wanted to tell her last night but couldn't.

"I'm sorry I didn't marry you."

She spelled out _"Have Sam get my ring."_

I nodded. "Okay. What do you want me to do with it?"

_"Wear it."_

"Of course.. Has a reaper come for you yet?"

She went to _yes._ My heart sank.

"Are you gonna go with them?"

She went to _no._

"Why not?"

She spelled out _"I don't want to leave you."_

I put my head down. I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't want her to leave me either.

"Sweetheart-" I stopped when the scope started moving.

She spelled out _"If you say 'don't fear the reaper' I'll kick your ass."_

I chuckled. "Oh, I'd like to see you try."

"Dean?" Sam said. "We gotta get down to business here."

"Baby, do you have any idea how we can get you back?"

She spelled out _"Castiel."_

Just then, Cass appeared in the middle of the small living room and Bobby walked through the door.

"You're welcome." he said, looking exhausted.

"Looks like Bobby's already on it, sweetie."

"Where is she?" Cass asked.

"She's here." I said. "Not _here_ here, but..."

Cass closed his eyes and a gust of light washed through the room and for an instant, I saw Emilia sitting across from me. He turned to where I saw her.

"There is a way, yes." he told her.

"A way? Cass, what is she saying?"

"There's a way we can bring her back. She says whatever it is, do it."

I nodded in major agreement with her.

"Dean, this burden rests with you."

"What do you need me to do? I'll do it, whatever it is." I said, immediately.

Cass went to grab me but stopped instantly.

I stared at him, confused. "What the hell was that about?"

"She told me to explain myself before I send you back."

"Wait, send me back where?"

"When you first met Emilia and she went into that coma, that was when the demons got to her. It's.. sort of like a satellite in hell that's especially attuned to her brain. That's when the demons start it all."

"What do I do?" I asked.

"Well, if we go back to when it all started, we can trace the signal back to the demon controlling the whole thing. And you have to keep the demon's Hench men from getting her."

I nodded. "Of course."

"You can enlist help from.. Yourself and your brother. They'll probably listen to you."

"Wait, you mean, past me?"

He simply nodded.

I shrugged. "Down the rabbit hole I go, then." I said with a chuckle.

"Wait." Sam said.

He went away for a little bit and then walked back into the room. "Take this." he said, holding out Emilia's ring to me.

I smiled. "Thank you, Sammy." I put it on my pinkie. "Kay, zap away. And remind me to pick up some exlax when I get there."

Sam rolled his eyes. I smirked.

"I'll see you there, Dean." Cass said, touching my forehead.

s


	4. Finding A Way

Next thing I knew, I was in an alley. It was dark but I didn't know how late it was. I hid behind a stack of crates when I heard someone coming. I peaked out from behind them to see who it was. To my surprise, it was the Wendigo. So, that meant this was west Texas in the Summer of 2011.

I stayed quiet and waited for the Wendigo to go. I didn't have any weapons or a way of defending myself. And, right about now, if my conclusion was right, Sam and I were back at the motel getting ready to go out and kill this thing.

Once it was gone, I crept out of the alley looking around me for any street signs that might tell me where I am. I spotted Simmons and I remembered the bar Sam and I went to being on that street. I walked down Simmons until I made it to a bar called The Dive. I checked my watch. It was still a few hours before we killed the Wendigo.

As I walked through the parking lot, about to go in, someone came out. I stopped, hiding by a huge van. I looked out from behind it and I saw myself. I- or.. he.. was pacing back and forth with his phone in his hand. He put the phone to his ear. I knew who he was calling.

"Hey, Lis." he said with an overjoyed smile. "I'm surprised you picked up."

I rolled my eyes, quickly running out of ear shot of _that_ conversation.

I decided to go to the motel. I remembered it was the Blue Falls motel. It was barely a ten minute walk from here. I walked around the halls, trying my damnedest to remember the room number. The most I could remember is that it had a seven. I went through seven and seventeen with no luck. The first room had a guy sleeping in it and the second room... Well, let's just say I heard enough to know it wasn't mine.

I picked the lock to room twenty-seven and I saw Sam's laptop on the little wooden table. The walls were a disgusting shade of yellow, the base boards and the carpet were brown. The room was lit by a big, flickering florescent light. This was the room we brought Emilia to after we found her.

Emilia. The realization hit me with an electric charge. Suddenly, I didn't care about anything else. I ran out of the room and out of the maze of halls. Right about now, she'd be in an abandoned warehouse off of Wilkshire which was right off Simmons. I ran down the streets, stopping by the building only to remember that I didn't have any way of fighting if I needed to. When Sam and I found her the first time, she was alone, but we wouldn't get here for at least two more hours.

"Oh, quit being a pansy." I muttered to myself.

I climbed on a wooden crate lift, prying the window open and climbing in head first. When I was in far enough, I tucked my head in, rolling onto my feet. She looked at me, scared, inside the angel's trap, just like the first time I saw her.

I smiled wide. "Oh, thank God."

"Let me out." she demanded.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, I'm here to help you, Em."

She glared at me. "How do you know my name?"

I stopped, reigning in my enthusiasm. Emilia was feisty - to put it mildly - with people she didn't trust.

"My name is Dean." I said, politely. "Look, this is going to be way too hard to explain but I need you to trust me."

She folded her arms. "Try me."

"I'm gonna break the trap and when I do, I want you to come with me and don't go out'a my sight. Please." I begged.

"You'll tell me who the hell you are if I do?"

I chuckled. "The second I break the trap, you're calling the shots, I know that."

She considered that and shrugged. "Fine."

I grabbed my knife from my pocket, cutting though the solid line of white paint on the floor.

She stepped out, her arms folded. Even in the midst of everything, I couldn't get over how beautiful she looked. Her long white-blonde hair was waving down her back, some of it draped over her shoulders. Her icy blue eyes were so full of life as she looked at me that I couldn't help but smile. She wore a white, floor-length, strapped dress. She looked so... sexy. Even though she was only five-foot-one, she was damn intimidating.

She looked over at the door for a second then started walking to it. It opened, of course.

"Come on, Dean." she said.

I followed quickly behind her, catching up quick.

"There's a motel I can take you to, you'll be safe there."

She stared at me, suspicious. "Why are you helping me?"

I chuckled. "I'm telling you, you won't believe me."

She got angry. "And I'm telling you I don't care!" she slapped my arm. "Spill, dude!"

"Fine... Oh, where to begin..." I said, scanning my brain. "Well.. I'm from 2016."

She nodded. "Okay. What are you doing here?"

I looked at her, stunned. And then I smiled. Of course she believed me. Things like this were very common for her.

"Well, tonight, you go into a coma and the demons.. They basically get control over your mind. I'm... Here to stop it, I guess."

She stared at me carefully guarding the fear in her eyes. "Why?"

I kept walking, looking down at my feet, unwilling to tell her. She grabbed my arm and stepped in front of me.

"Dean?" she asked. I looked up at her and the fear shone bright in her eyes.

"Because we don't want you to die, Em." I said with a humorless chuckle, trying to keep myself from getting choked up.

Her eyes widened in shock. She quickly reigned it in and got back to her questioning. "Who's we?" she whispered.

"Me, my brother, his wife, our friend Bobby and your brother, Castiel."

"Why do you care?" she mumbled, looking down.

I put the middle and index finger under her chin, lifting her head, getting her to meet my eyes. "Because we were going to get married."

She jerked her head away, stepping back. I closed my eyes and sighed. That reaction wasn't surprising.

"If you have any idea about who I am, you'd know I don't do marriage."

I smiled. "Ah, me neither." I chuckled. "Well, not _me_ me, _past _me.. or _now _me." I was thoroughly confused.

She grinned, despite herself. "So, what changed all that?" she asked, still reluctant to believe me.

"We met. The more I got to know you, the more clear it all got."

"You know me, huh?" she said, her chin in the air as she stared at me.

I smirked. "Oh, I know you better than anyone, sweetheart."

"What's my favorite song?" she challenged.

Easy. "'The Sound Of Silence' by Simon and Garfunkel."

She considered that, pursing her lips. "Have we.. had sex?" she said, her eyes, scared.

I chuckled and nodded. "Yes we have."

Her eyes narrowed. "I don't believe you."

"Really."

She nodded. "Yup. I'm not buying it."

I reached out stroking a little spot on her neck with my finger. "Then how else would I know your toes curl up whenever I kiss you there?"

She closed her eyes. "Um..."

I dropped my hand. "And how else would I know that before me, you were a virgin?"

She scoffed. "I'm an angel, I don't think that would surprise anyone."

"It surprised me." I mumbled.

She paused for a bit, considering that. "How old am I right now?"

I did the math in my head. "That body is about twenty right now, but_you're_ two hundred and twelve."

She grinned. "Damn, you're good... How old are you?" she asked, curious.

"By your time, I'm thirty three, now I'm thirty seven."

"Oh." she said, seeming to understand something.

"What?" I asked.

"You like old chicks, don't you?" she said with a sly smile.

I grinned. "No, I think we break pretty even."

"How so?" she challenged.

"Well, I'm thirty seven, your body's twenty which, biologically makes me way older than you." I smiled wide at her.

She laughed. "I don't think so, I'm two hundred and twelve."

"And that's why we break even." I explained.

She stared at me, calculating. "That's genius, you know that?"

I nodded. "Of course it is."

She looked down, blushing. "You know, I have to admit, I like you."

"No, you _love_ me." I said, nudging her arm walking with her again.

"Don't push it." she warned.

I couldn't tell what she thought of me yet. We walked slowly, not really in any rush. Now that Emilia was out of the trap and on her guard, she could more than handle herself. But I couldn't shake the feeling that she was feigning politeness. It was making me uneasy that she wasn't telling me exactly what was going on in that head of hers. I had to try and get her to tell me.

"You seem to be handling everything pretty well." I said in an accusative tone.

She looked up at me, seeming confused. "Well... Yeah, you're not the first time traveler I've dealt with, Dean."

She was playing dumb. I smiled, seeing right through her. "That's, ah.. Not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" she said, her tone concerned, her face serious, betraying nothing.

"You don't think it's about eleven different kinds of crazy when a stranger rescues you, says he's from the future and says you're supposed to get_married_?" Hell, I barely bought it when _I_ said it.

She chuckled, just a little nervous, her cool calm wavering. She paused for a second and then stopped. "Look, you want the truth?"

"Of course." I said, immediately.

"I can't really wrap my head around all that right now, it's... a lot. If that's how it goes over time, then that's great but I can't just believe that."

I was looking down, my eyes hard, being the stubborn bastard that I am. I don't know why it was working me up so much but it killed me that I couldn't get her to trust me. It was making me really tense.

She laced her fingers around the back of my neck, looking into my eyes. "You really need to relax. Just bare with me here, okay? I've only known you for an hour, dude." she grinned. "But, honestly, I've never hit it off with someone like this so fast and I hope we continue to get along because I would love for you to be right." she said, honestly.

I smiled crookedly at her. I nodded. "I am. You'll see."

She smiled, dropping her hands. "Good. Meanwhile, just.. please ease up on all the future love stuff. It's freaking me out and I can't.. fall in love _and _be like this."

I laughed.

"No, seriously!" she said, upset at my laughter. "If you keep telling me about it all, I'll screw it up and it won't happen and now I kind of want it to but it's kind of making me claustrophobic and..." Fear filled her eyes and she started flailing her hands. "Ugh. This just needs to happen or not happen or.. something."

I let out a last chuckle, considering her words. I'd have to be careful with her here.

Just then, something occurred to me. What things would this change about us? Would it change my memories? I thought about that for a second, a little nervous at the idea. Then I shrugged it off. As long as Em would live and as long as I'd still have them, it'd be okay.

All of the sudden, a bright pair of headlights lit up the scene - Lights I would know anywhere. The Impala. I looked down the street, unable to see past the blaring lights. The car pulled over by me and Em. I quickly tried to blink away the brightness from the lights as I peaked inside.

Sam had a book in one hand, a flashlight in the other. He looked a little irritated but still all business. I, on the other hand, glared through the windshield, feeling my own eyes on me. Castiel sat in the back seat. He must have explained everything. Or.. tried to. It didn't look like I was buying it.

I turned back around to face Emilia and Cass was behind her, his face hard yet sad. She turned to face him and before she even had time to react, he swept her up into a hug, locking one arm around her waist and using one hand to tuck her head under his chin. He kept that hand on her head, keeping her tightly to him.

"It's great to see you, Emilia." he said over her, his gravelly voice shaking.

"You too, Cass." she managed, her face buried in his chest.

I smiled at the reunion, stifling a laugh. "So, ah... Where's past Cass?"

"Relieved for the time being." he said, still hold Em.

I nodded, nervous. "So..." I said pointing over my shoulder at the car. "How are... They?"

"Your brother seems fine but you.. said something like 'I don't want some Freaky Friday, Parent Trap, Match-Maker douche in my car.'" He paused. "What I don't understand is how Dean could have such a low opinion of himself."

I rolled my eyes. "He doesn't think I'm me, we just made up with Lisa and he doesn't wanna hear about some other chick that he doesn't even know yet." I said, irritated with myself. "No offense, Em."

"None taken." she said, still muffled by Cass.

"You wanna let her go now?" I said, annoyed.

"Certainly." he said, pulling away at once.

I opened the door, grabbing Em's hand, letting her slide in first. I reluctantly followed for what was about to be the second most awkward car ride of my life.


	5. Dean VS Dean

I refused to be the first one to speak. It was already enough that I had to deal with the glares in the rear-view mirror from myself. I wouldn't do it. I _couldn't_ do it.

"So, Dean-" Em began, stopping when both my past self and I looked at her. "_Past_ Dean... Or _now_ Dean - Damn, you're right, that _is_ confusing." she said to me. I chuckled.

"What is it?" past Dean asked, his eyes hard.

"Has Cass filled you in on everything?" she asked, heavy skepticism in her voice.

"You mean the part where I save you from the big bad dragon and then we live happily ever after, riding off into the sunset?" he said, snarky as ever.

She laughed in agreement with him. "Yeah, _that_everything."

"Cass, did you run through the whole deal with him? Holy water, salt?"

"I sent him back here myself, he's you, Dean."

He looked back at me in the mirror. "So, lover boy, you're getting married?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, bite me." I growled. Em tried unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh.

"Naw, seriously, are you?" he asked, amusement in his voice.

I didn't answer.

"Oh, come on, dude, it's me... Or.. you... Or us." he said, persuasive.

"Fine, yeah, Em and I were gonna get married."

"What happened?" Dean asked, staring intently out the window as he drove, sounding almost bored with me.

"Long story or short story?"

"Short." he said, impatient.

"Emilia died." She flinched when I said it.

He let that sink in, his eyes hard. If I knew anything about myself, I knew that right about now, I was telling myself I didn't have to fall in love with someone who would wind up dead. I could stick with Lisa who was safe and normal.

"Kay, what's the long story?"

"Em's half demon, half angel. They all want to use her in the Holy War. Em went to hell a while back and the demons got all up in her head. Tonight, they're going to trigger whatever they did to her and it's gonna open a floodgate of demons in her head." I said, getting angry, talking about it.

He looked at her as he spoke. "That kills her?" he asked, disguising pain in his voice.

"To put it nicely, yes it does." I said, bitter.

Emilia was quiet by me, staring out the window, a fear plain in her eyes.

"What was it like?" he asked, clearing his throat.

"A year of torture pretty much. She started having these fits and seizures.. It burned her to go near any devil's trap."

"We believe that the demons were manipulating the demon in her, making it stronger somehow. There's only one specific charge of demons that can do that so it's narrowed it down for us." Cass explained.

"And the demon in her.. killed her?" Dean said, not entirely following.

A small but genuine smile lit up my face. "No, not exactly. She wouldn't let that happen. She exorcised herself."

Dean busted out laughing and Em's head snapped up to me. "I did what!" she yelled.

"Come on, dude, that's impossible." he said, a smile in his voice.

"Yeah!" Em said, folding her arms in agreement with past me.

"Yeah, I thought so too." I said, annoyed at Em and past me.

"What about Lisa?" he asked.

"Doesn't work out."

"You're gonna give me more than that." he said, his voice dark.

"She kicks you out and moves a strange guy named Roger into your bed." I said, bitterly matching his tone. "You won't even see it coming, trust me."

"You're lying." he said at once.

I chuckled humorlessly. "You'll know I'm right. You can learn the easy way or the hard way though, man, I don't care."

"Oh, bull shit! That's why you're here isn't it? Because you _care_?"

"Dean." Sam said. "If the guy checks out, maybe you ought'a hear him out."

He rolled his eyes. I gave up on that and looked over at Emilia. She looked horrified.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

She shook her head no, unwilling to speak.

"Yeah, you don't look so good." Dean said.

"I'm fine." she mumbled, keeping her head down.

"Maybe we could drop her off back at the motel before we go." Sam suggested to past me.

Cass looked over at me. "Dean, you go with your brother." He gestured towards past me. "He and I will stay with Emilia."

"What?" Dean said, skeptical.

"Dean, it's important. Details can be altered but we don't want to interfere in the big picture here."

"So, what, we need to have bonding time?" he said, mocking the idea.

Em dropped her head even further. He hurt her.

"Hey!-" I started.

"Stop." Em whispered.

Everyone looked at her.

"Whatever's meant to be will be. If he wants to go, let him go, hell, we can all go. But we're not going to force anyone into anything here." she said, calmly, hurt still in her voice.

"I agree." Dean said, his anger fizzling out.

I nodded, letting it go.

I suddenly found myself questioning how the hell Em could love me. I felt horrible. Something would have to give. He would have to lighten up. So would I, because this whole thing wasn't about us, it was about saving Em. Even if it screwed everything up, even if she wound up hating me, I had to save her.

We made it back to the motel room without another word. Sam was worried about getting the Windigo and past me was worried about Lisa, meanwhile, Cass and I were worried about Emilia. We peaked over to her a few times but it didn't reassure us. Honestly, she looked lost.

Being there like that really had me floored. I didn't realize how much could change in five years. I didn't realize how much Em did for me. I don't think I was_that_ bad, but still.. It was Em that made me the man I wanted to be.

We filed into the little yellow room, still without a game plan. Em sat in the center of one bed, her legs folded and her eyes closed and Dean sat facing her on the other bed. He stared at her, guarded but I knew myself well enough to know that he felt guilty. I grinned. I sat by the little side table in the corner as Sam loaded up the car.

Dean turned to me. "Where's Cass?" he asked, pointedly.

I paused for a second, unsure of where he was going with this. "I think he's out by the car with Sam. Why?"

He got up, heading for the door. "Come here." he told me, going out into the hall.

I looked over at Em. "I'll be right back." I told her.

She nodded, keeping her eyes closed.

"What do you want?" I asked, putting my hands in my pockets.

He looked at me, his face completely sure. "You, Sam and Cass can go, I'll stay here with the girl."

I looked at him, debating, trying to decipher why he could possibly be doing this. "If you try and give her any holy salt water, if you pour holy water _on_ her, if you cut her with any sort of silver, I will kick your ass. I don't care what happens, if one hair on her head is out of place, I'll start swingin', I won't ask questions."

"Take it easy, old man, I don't want you to break something." he said, sarcastic.

I laughed. "Oh, you can try but let me tell ya, I learned a lot in five years." I said smirking at him.

He rolled his eyes. "Look, I just wanna talk to her, that's it. That's the bottom line, pal."

I glared at him. "Why?"

"Why the hell do you think, man, I feel bad!" he said, angry.

I thought back and it made sense. I wasn't a _total_ dick. "Fine." I said, skeptically.

He went inside and I went out to the car with Sam and Cass. Sam looked at me, his eyes narrowed into slits.

He leaned over to Cass. "Which one is that?"

"That's.. future Dean." he said, awkwardly, unsure of the term.

We got in the car, me behind the wheel. "Past me and Em are staying."

"That's good." Cass said.

"I'm glad one of us is sure."


	6. Defiance

Dean walked in, slowly, unsure. Emilia's eyes snapped open when he shut the door. He reclaimed his seat at the other bed, facing her. He couldn't help but notice how out of place she looked. The big florescent light lit up the bright yellow walls, but still, she was brighter. Her pale white skin as white as her dress and as white as her hair made her glow to him. He looked down, smiling genuinely. A moment later he realized and quickly tried to collect himself.

"Um... How are you doing?" he asked.

She looked at him, still choked up with fear. "Good... All things considered. You?" she asked, more out of custom than genuine curiosity.

"Fine. I, ah.. I kind of lost my head back there. This is just a bit much." he said with a nervous laugh.

She nodded. "Yup."

They sat there in awkward silence, Dean's thoughts racing, trying to think of something to say. Meanwhile, Emilia was trying to slow hers down. Almost a minute later, Dean couldn't take it anymore. He jumped up, practically running towards the mini-bar, picking the lock open.

"You want a drink?"

"Please."

"Pick your poison." Dean said, walking back to the bed, holding a little bottle between each of his fingers.

"The left hand."

He laughed, setting the bottles on the bed by her. He took his own, sitting down. They exchanged one last awkward look before prying open the first drink their hands touched.

The room was only spinning slightly when one of them finally spoke.

"So, you're some angel-demon child?" Dean asked.

Emilia shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

Dean took another swig from one of the tiny bottles, tossing it over his shoulder. "How the hell does that work- Have you moved from that damn spot since he put you there?" he croaked out.

She laughed, knowing who he meant by _he_. "You have some serious issues." she said, sliding to the end of her bed towards Dean.

"Well, you don't honestly believe him, do you, I mean-" He couldn't think of his next words so he settled on a lie. "It's just ridiculous." he said, his tone, unconvincing.

Em chuckled, seeing right through him. "Yeah, you're not the prince charming I saw myself with, either. You're just.. some drunken slob." she said, waving her hand at Dean and his bottles.

"Oh, you're one to talk. You sound just like a prude, you know that?" He downed another bottle. "And I don't do prudes, sweetheart."

She laughed at him. "And I don't do dicks so we're square."

"Oh, you play for _that _team, huh?" he said, smirking.

She threw one of the little bottles at him, across the tiny space with a smile on her face. "I'll kick your ass, dude."

"Oh, really?" Dean said, unbelieving, his eyebrows raising.

"Yeah, that's right." she said, smirking.

"Now, that would be something to see."

Dean threw the bottle that hit him over his shoulder. After it clanked into the wall and hit the floor, it was silent. Their minds drifted back to the exact same place as they stared at each other wearily.

"Do you think he could be right?" Em asked.

"To tell you the truth, I don't know." Dean said, concerned.

"But you don't want him to be... Because of you and Lisa?" she asked, sympathetically.

"Something like that, yeah."

"Hm..." she said, thinking of something.

"What?" he asked.

"Well, maybe if you go see her, maybe if you tell yourself you're gonna stick with her no matter what, this whole 'future Dean' thing might stop and maybe he'll disappear."

He smiled politely and shrugged. "Maybe it might." he allowed. He didn't believe her. Those things never worked before, he doubted they would start now.

"Yeah." Em said, looking down, disappointed in his reaction.

"What is it?" Dean asked.

She chuckled. "I just needed you to believe that. Really bad."

Concern filled his eyes. "Why?"

She cleared her throat, trying to stop the tears that flooded her eyes. She smiled as they fell from her eyes. "I don't wanna die." she said with a chuckle. "We both have our reasons but if you believe and if I do, maybe we can change this. Maybe we can have our lives."

Dean couldn't keep the awed grin off of his face. "How did you get to be so optimistic?"

She shook her head slowly back and forth. "I have to be." she looked up, smiling at him. "So, are you in this with me?"

Dean tore the caps off the last little bottles, handing her one. He smiled. "Why the hell not?"


	7. Getting Along

When we pulled in at the motel, I couldn't get to the room fast enough. I dislocated my shoulder in the fight but I didn't care. I flung my door and half-ran through the maze of halls back to the room. Sam followed far behind and Cass checked out to go do some demon watch for Em.

I paused at the door, bracing myself. Dislocated shoulder or not, I would still fight if I had to. When I finally opened the door, I couldn't believe what I saw. Past Dean and Em sat on one bed, their legs crossed, facing each other. They leaned in close as they whispered, laughed and waved their hands in the midst of some conversation I wasn't a part of. They didn't even acknowledge me when I entered - Or Sam when he entered after me.

"Hey, you need me to get your shoulder?" Sam asked.

I looked up at him. "Yeah, that'd be good, thanks." I said, planting my feet. "Do it." I said through my teeth.

"Kay." he said, instantly popping it back. The crack ran through my whole body and a little whimper escaped me. I turned back, seeing Dean and Em. They still hadn't noticed us.

"Sammy?"

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong with them?" I said, pointing.

He looked at them, then he raised his eyebrows.

"What." I asked, not waiting for him to answer

I looked closer at the scene, eying a trail of tiny bottles leading back to a busted mini-bar. Of course.

Sam laughed. "I'm, ah.. Gonna go unload the car." he said pointing over his shoulder.

"You're leaving _now_?" I asked, pissed.

He nodded. "Oh yeah, dude, _you _get to deal with the booze hounds."

He left quickly, his laughter echoing down the hall. I sighed, letting it go and took a seat on the other bed, watching the two of them. Em turned her head my way, saying something and jumped when she saw me.

"When the hell did you get here!" she yelled.

I looked at Dean. "Is she drunk, is that what that is?"

Her rolled his eyes. "No!"

I glared at him, way too short-tempered to deal with lying.

He looked away. "Okay, maybe! But we're getting along, I mean.. That's what you wanted right?" He chuckled.

I sighed. "Is she hurt?"

"Nope."

I stood up, relieved. "Come on, Em."

She slid clumsily off the bed, tripping. I laughed as I caught and steadied her. "Take it easy, light-weight."

She yawned, leaning her head back and then snuggled into my chest. "I'm sleepy." she mumbled, putting her arms around me. I grinned, holding her. Drunk Em wasn't so bad... Very frisky... I smirked as I thought about it.

"Wait, she sleeps?" Dean asked me, unbelieving. "I thought none of them did that."

"Huh?... Well, she sorta has to, to maintain the balance in her vessel, it's really complicated. It's the whole 'Abomination' thing."

"Right." Dean said, still unbelieving. He shrugged it off. "Oh yeah, Em wants to come with me tomorrow."

I stared at him suspiciously. "Where?"

"Indiana."

"Why are you going there?"

"I'm going to see Lisa, she wants to meet her."

I glared at him, debating. "Don't let her throw up in the car."

He grinned up at me. "Finally starting to trust yourself, huh?"

"What?.. Oh, no, I just know that if anything happens to her, I don't have to feel guilty about killing myself."

He stared at me, a new vulnerability in his eyes. "She's got us that twisted?" he asked, barely audible.

I tried to hold my glare in place and stop the grief that overtook me from showing in my face. I cleared my throat, holding Em a little tighter. "She died... I.. can't let anything happen to her, I won't." I said, shaking my head.

"Well, neither will I, dude, I'll take care of her." he said, trying to be sympathetic. But he thought I was crazy. Hell, I, myself thought I was.

"Okay." I said, trusting him. He seemed like he meant it.

"Can I ask you something?"

Em started snoring so I laid her down on the other bed and sat across from him. "Shoot."

He paused, thinking, before he spoke. "What is she like?"

I stared at him. "You mean Em?"

He nodded.

I smiled as I tried to think of a way to describe it. "She's the type of chick that'll fight by your side just as hard as you and then.. she shows you this other side of her that's just-" I smiled wider, at a loss for words.

"Come on, you gotta tell me more, dude." he said, smiling. "Do you celebrate Valentine's Day, do you guys have anniversaries, celebrate birthdays?..." he trailed off, seeming interested.

"No, God no and yes."

He looked at me, another question burning bright in his eyes. "When was the moment that you knew she was the one and not Lisa?"

I chuckled. "You'll see with Lis, trust me. This was actually the trip I went to see her on so I think you might be finding all that out."

He nodded slowly, he eyes narrowed. "Right, the whole cheating thing." he said, not believing me.

I nodded. "Yeah, that's right. But knowing us, we gotta learn that one the hard way, don't we?"

He glared at me. "I guess we do."

I looked down, assuming he was done with everything. "Kay, ah-"

"You still didn't answer me." he interrupted.

My head snapped up at him. "What?"

"How'd you know _Em_ was the one?"

"Oh, ah..." I smiled. "After everything with Lis, she was just.. amazing. She hung around, helping Sam out with some jobs for a few days and she just brought me beer and cheeseburgers and she got along great with Sammy - Really saved his ass too - and she just fit right in." He was guarded but sad as I told him. "And you know that hole that you feel in your stomach right now?"

The look on his face told me he did. "What about it?" he said, uncomfortable.

"She fills it. And believe me, she needs us."

He looked at her then back at me. "She could kill me if she wanted to, you've gotta be joking."

I laughed. "That's very true but.." I sighed, getting serious again. "She's the sweetest, bravest thing in the world but she has a target on her. She can't fight it all by herself."

He looked down, not answering me.

"Look, I know you're gonna try and go for that normal life again but let me try and save you a little bit of time and let you know that the whole _normal _thing doesn't want a damn thing to do with us. You'll see. That world isn't meant for you."

He stared at me and looked down, clearing his throat. "Look, man, I'm really tired. You can take the lush if you want but I'm gonna try and get some sleep." he flashed a quick fake smile at me before getting up and going to the bathroom. I decided to leave Em there. Although I wanted to keep her with me at all times, it wasn't _me_ me that she had to fall in love with. If I wanted to keep her, I had to let her go... Just a little.


	8. Protective

Emilia's eyes opened to the familiar yellow walls. It was right before sunrise and a pale blue bathed the whole room. She looked around and then rolled over onto her side, looking at Dean. She was able to look at things better after a good night's sleep. As she looked at him sleeping now, she couldn't shake it. Loving him didn't seem impossible. Though she'd only known this man one night, she could see it all. But she refused to accept it.

"He belongs with Lisa." she whispered to herself. But as those words echoed in her head, in the dead silence, she knew they didn't seem true. She growled, getting up out of bed.

She closed the door quietly and went looking for one specific room, walking quickly down the halls, unsure of what room he was actually in. She stopped dead in her tracks at room eleven, knowing that was the room. She sighed deeply and knocked on the door.

Future Dean answered the door, his hair a mess from sleeping. He couldn't help but grin when he saw her.

"Hey, Em."

"I need to talk to you." she said, her voice panicked, her face worried.

He processed her mood and he became concerned. "Yeah, of course." he said, opening the door wider, letting her in.

She sat down on his bed, eying his navy blue cotton t-shirt and black boxers, guiltily. "I woke you, didn't I?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, but that's cool. You need to talk." he said, sitting down next to her.

"Do you love me?" she asked, urgently.

Dean was silent, debating. He remembered her saying not to tell her stuff like that. But when it was asked, flat-out, he couldn't just say no.

"Please, I have to know." she said, her voice, calmer, growing sad. "I believe you and I just have to know that there's some sort of hope for my life. Or what's left of it."

"Please don't talk like that, that's why I'm here."

"You really think you can stop all of this?" she asked, desperately needing reassurance.

"I'm here and I'm gonna save you, I promise."

"Thank you." she whispered.

"You wanna know the truth?"

She nodded, turning towards him more.

"You mean so much to me, Em, I had this life with you that was..." He cleared his throat. "It was perfect."

She smiled. "That sounds really nice."

He smiled back. "Yeah, it was."

She hugged him awkwardly. He readjusted himself, pulling her into his arms, sighing contently. It was exactly what they both needed at that moment. As they sat there, something in the room changed. He pulled her away slightly, looking in her eyes, reading them. Then he leaned in, kissing her. He gripped her hair in one hand, his other arm locked securely around her. She kissed him back, moving her lips with his, letting him lead.

Completely uncaring, abandoning all hope and reasoning, she straddled his lap, eagerly sliding her tongue between his lips. Dean's heart kick-started into overdrive and his hands started shaking as his tongue danced with hers, craving the softness of her lips and the warmth of her mouth.

He pulled her away, laying her down on the bed. Just before he leaned in, there was a knock at the door. He growled. It took everything he had in him to get up off that bed. He opened the door, sticking his head out, the annoyance plain on his face.

"Hey is Em in there?" past Dean asked.

He glared. "Hang on."

Em sat at the foot of his bed, her breath shaken. She looked up at him. "What?"

"It's, ah, Dean. I think he's ready to go." he said, looking down.

The first thing that ran through her mind was wondering how she could get out of it. But before she spoke, she ran through it all in her mind and decided that she'd better go. She got up, sliding her dress down.

"You want something a bit more road trip friendly?" Future Dean asked, eying her long dress.

She looked down and nodded. "Yeah, that would be good." she said, unable to collect herself. She was still light-headed and her knees shook as she stood there.

Future Dean dug into past Dean's bag, pulling out a pair of gray sweatpants and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. "Here, you can wear these." he said, handing them to her. "I'll go in there while you get changed." he said, pointing to the bathroom.

That seemed a little odd to her. "Why? It's nothing you haven't seen before, is it?"

He thought through his next words carefully. "Let's just say I've seen enough to know that if you were to.. undress in front of me right now, I couldn't let you go and I.. kind of have to."

Their minds started drifting again as they looked at each other. But with his last bit of reasoning, Dean forced himself into the bathroom, closing and locking the door.

Em hurried to change, putting on the over-sized stretch pants, pulling the draw string tight around her waist. She pulled off her dress, quickly pulling on the Zeppelin shirt. She ran out to meet past Dean.

She smiled up at him. "Hey."

He looked her over stopping at her feet. His eyes darted back up to her. "You don't have any shoes."

She looked down, wiggling her toes. "Nope."

"There's a store down the street, we'll get you some there, 'kay?" he said, less annoyance in his voice, more caring.

"Okay." she said, not really seeing the point. "Thank you."

"Yeah, so, are you ready to go?"

She nodded. He grinned. "Good."

They walked into the huge store and followed the signs to the shoes. It was lit by giant florescent lights, the floor was made of scuffed up white tiles and the hum of voices and beeps of all the registers filled the giant room.

Emilia followed Dean as he scanned the aisles for the sturdiest looking pair of shoes. He looked down at her feet, eye-balling her shoe size and grabbed and few pairs of boots. He sat her down on a little bench in the aisle and disappeared for a moment, reappearing with a package of socks in his hand. He tore them open, handing her a pair.

"Here, put these on then try the shoes." he said, not a trace of anger in his voice.

She pulled them on and then tried the first pair of shoes. She laced them up, walking around in them. She turned back to Dean and shrugged. "These'll work." she said with a grin.

He looked her over again, still dissatisfied. He disappeared again for a little bit longer this time and came back with four pairs of jeans slung over his arm. He sat the bulk of them down, holding one pair at a time up to her waist, trying to estimate her size. He left the others, taking the third pair.

He grabbed her hand, pulling her to the women's dressing rooms.

"What's all this about?" she asked as he handed her the jeans.

"Just.. try those on, see if they fit." he said, shrugging.

Normally, he would be rushing to see Lisa at this point, but he was enjoying his time with Em, though he wouldn't fully admit it to himself. Something else he would never admit to himself was why he was buying her shoes and jeans. He wanted to make her comfortable. He wouldn't even let it enter awareness in his mind but it showed in his actions. In so many different ways, he was starting to like her.

"Why are you buying me this stuff, anyways?" Em asked, sliding on the jeans.

Dean leaned against the side of the dressing room, folding his arms. "Every_sane _person needs a pair of shoes and I wanted my sweats back." he lied, playing it down. "Ah, you can just put it all on now and we'll hand them the tags."

She pulled on the boots again. "Okay."

She stepped out, looking down at herself and then up at Dean, self-conscious. "How do I look?"

Dean looked at her slowly, noticing the way the jeans hugged her small waist, fitting tightly down her her legs. He licked his lips and then tried to think of a response that didn't give him away. "That'll work."

They went through self-checkout, Dean scanning the tags and paying with a card under the name of Dick Hasslehoff. He tried not to watch her as she walked ahead of him through the parking lot but he stole a few glances. He opened her door for her then got in, himself.

"Will you hand me that box down there?" he asked pointing to the floor at her feet.

She handed him the box of tapes and he grabbed one off the top and popped it in, setting the box on the seat between them. "Whole Lotta Love" by Led Zeppelin started blaring through the speakers and Em looked over, smiling wide at him. He smiled back, singing along off key. They drove the whole six hours, blasting music, singing along. They stopped only once to get gas.

As Dean got closer and turned off the freeway, he couldn't help but be excited. He turned the music down as they started getting into the residential areas.

"So this is the place, huh?" Em asked with a smile.

"Yup." he said, unable to keep the smile off his face.

They got out, walking to the door that opened into the kitchen. Dean opened the door, letting Emilia walk in first. Lisa was rounding the corner into the kitchen when she spotted them. She froze, stunned.

"Dean." she said, more sad than happy.

"Hey, Lis." Dean said, walking towards her.

She forced a smile, her eyes guilty. "Who is this?" she said, looking at Em.

"Oh, that's Emilia, we're helping her out with a few things. Um.. Where's Ben?" he asked, smiling.

"He's staying over at a friend's. Look, Dean, I have to talk to you, do you mind waiting in the living room while I put on some coffee?"

"Yeah, sure." He nodded, heading into the other room.

Emilia stared after him, sad. Dean might have been in denial but she knew what was coming. She glared at Lisa who was oblivious, digging through the cupboards. Em collected herself, taking a seat at the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"You know, he's really crazy about you." she said, putting on a smile.

Lisa set the coffee down on the counter across from Em. "Yeah, he's, ah.. great." she said, panic and guilt in her voice.

"Yeah he is." she forced a chuckle. "You know, things are a real mess right now but he just _had _to come see you." Her face grew serious. "I don't think he's doing well right now, Lisa but thank God he has you, someone he can turn to, someone who would never do anything to hurt him." she sighed, smiling as Lisa stared back, guilt and horror shining on her face. "It sounds.. too good to be true."

Lisa chuckled nervously. "So.. You're a hunter or something?" she said scooping the coffee into the machine.

"Something like that, yeah. Don't worry, I'll make sure he's okay."

Lisa nodded, feigning a smile. "That's, ah.. That's good."

"Yeah, if I even _think _anyone is gonna hurt him, I'll take em out myself, don't you worry." she said with a sly smile.

"Oh God." Lisa mumbled, putting her hand on her forehead.

"You okay?" she asked, trying to hide the amusement in her voice.

Lisa turned back to Em. "Yeah, I just... wasn't expecting him back so soon."

"He wanted to surprise you. He knows how you love surprises. Too bad Dean doesn't though." she laughed. "I bet he's so restless in there right now. You'd better get in there soon so he cheers up.. What are you gonna talk to him about anyways?"

"Oh, it's.. nothing." she whispered, barely able to speak.

"Doesn't seem like nothing." Em said, her face serious.

"What's wrong with you?" Lisa asked.

Em glared. "I could ask you the same thing. You got a wonderful guy in there, you know."

Lisa nodded. "Yeah, I know."

Em leaned forward. "No." she shook her head. "You don't."

"Why are you being like this, I don't even know you." Lisa said, getting scared.

"You're backing out, I can see it." she said, narrowing her eyes. "You're not gonna tell him the truth are you?"

Lisa backed up, definitely afraid. "How do you..." she whispered.

Em glared at her, her voice dark and sinister. "If you don't tell him, if you don't let him go, I'll kill you myself." She got up and left, fuming, leaving them to talk.


	9. Road Rage

Lisa walked into her living room, her hands shaking as she handed Dean his coffee. He took his cup staring up at her, concerned.

"What's all this about, Lis?" he asked, already knowing, not wanting to believe it.

"I'm sorry, I'm just really shaken up right now." she said, flailing her hands.

Dean set his cup down, putting his arm around her. "Hey, hey, calm down."

She pulled away, shaking her head. "You're gonna hate me for what I'm about to tell you."

Instantly, he knew. His eyes hardened, his jaw clenched and he leaned away from Lisa. "What is it." he asked, flatly.

"I, ah... Met someone, Dean." she said, crying.

His stomach turned. Her glared at her. "His name wouldn't be Roger would it?" he said, sliding to the other side of the couch.

She nodded. And then she looked up at him, confused. "How did you know that?"

Dean leaned forward, holding his face in his hands. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." he said, leaving it at that.

"Dean, I'm-"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry." he warned.

"But I am." she mumbled. "You can still see Ben if you want, I know how much he cares about you."

"What have you been telling Ben in all this?" Dean asked, truly unable to figure out how she could have done such a thing.

"I haven't told him."

"Oh my God." Dean said, dropping his head. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he said, his voice shaking. "What are you gonna tell Ben when I'm gone and you bring some stranger to him?" Dean yelled, getting angry.

"He knows Roger." she admitted, hanging her head.

Dean stared at her, angry and appalled. "How?"

"I... leave Ben with him sometimes when I go to work."

He stood up, pacing around the room. "Of course you do." he mumbled with a non-humorous laugh.

"What the hell does that mean?" she said getting angry.

"It means I should of seen this coming, that's what that means." he said, rubbing his chin.

"Hey! I didn't plan for this, Dean! I didn't set out to hurt you! That's just-"

"That's just what happened, right! I get to be tossed out of my house like a piece of garbage just because you couldn't keep your legs closed!" he snapped, fuming.

She just sat there, her jaw hanging open, stunned.

"What, no clever retort, no apology? Huh?" He started walking towards her and she backed up into the couch. "It's 'cause you know I'm right."

He grabbed her hand, pulling a ring off of her finger. "You don't deserve this." he said, holding it up in her face. He put it in his pocket. "I'll call Ben later. You can explain to him why I'm not here." he said, stomping off through the kitchen and out the door.

Emilia was leaning on the passenger side of the Impala. Her head snapped up when she heard the door fly open. She braced herself for dealing with a now very heartbroken Dean. Without a word, he pulled Em out of the way of her door and opened it, going around to his side and getting in.

As they sat there in the small silent space, she could hear his shaking breath. "I don't want to hear any 'I told you so's or anything like that, okay?" he said, trying to sound forceful but his voice broke at the end.

Em shook her head. "Of course not." she whispered. "Will you be okay?"

He glared out the windshield, one hand gripping the wheel. "Yeah." he lied. "I'll be fine."

Dean and Em drove in silence. No music. No attempt to speak. Nothing. She glanced over at him, on occasion, but that was it.

Hours into the car ride, Dean's phone rang, making Em jump. He kept a grin off of his face with effort.

"Hey, Sammy." he said, his voice dead.

Sam was silent for a second. "Dude, you don't sound so good. You okay?"

"I'm fan-fucking-tastic, Sam, now what is it?"

"Well, Cass found a lead on the thing that's trying to control Emilia."

That got Dean's attention. Killing something sounded very appealing. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, and get this. It's looking like Emilia isn't their only angel-demon child."

"Really."

"Yeah, so far, there's three others that Cass thinks are fighting on Hell's side already. It's looking like that's who's controlling her. They all have a psychic connection from their bloodline so it has to be them, no one else could do all that."

"Their bloodline. You think they all have the same parents?"

"Well, yeah, that would explain the hell flashbacks, the torture, they all did that to her."

A sick cringe slithered down Dean's spine and he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Her own family, are you serious?"

"Yeah, but we got a lead on one of the bastards and we're going tonight. Will you be able to make it?"

"We're two hours out, we'll be there." he said, angry.

"Good.. So, how's Lisa and Ben?"

"Well..."

"Dean, what is it?"

"Lisa kicked me out. Looks like Mr. Parent Trap was right."

Sam sighed. "That really sucks, man. This hunt should help though, right? We'll kill some sons-of-bitches then go get you some beer, how does that sound?"

Dean smiled, his eyes still sad. "That sounds great, Sammy."

"I'm tellin' you, dude, don't do the emo thing. Turn on some music, get some cheeseburgers and take it easy."

Dean chuckled. "Okay. I will." he said, genuine.

"Good. I'll talk to Em and make sure."

"Oh, thanks, mom, that's good lookin' out."

"Someone has to look after your sorry ass."

"Well, thank you for.. taking that bullet." Dean said, playing along.

"Happy to do it, jerk."

"Shut up, bitch."

Dean snapped the phone shut and threw it into the box of tapes.

Emilia eyed him wearily as he grinned. "What did Sam say?"

Dean explained the whole thing to her, Emilia's face horror-struck the whole time. She leaned her head against the dash.

"I'm sorry, Em, but we'll take care of this. They won't get to you, I promise." he said, rubbing her back in an effort to sooth her.

As Dean turned around a blind corner, a giant semi-truck crashed into the passenger side. The car skidded thirty feet across the road, the metal frame of the Impala twisting and grinding around the giant truck, a piece of it slashing into Emilia's side. The glass in her window and the one behind her flew into the car. Dean's mouth was bleeding from where he hit it on the steering wheel and the flying glass sliced into him, but he quickly regained consciousness.

Dazed, he looked over at Em. The top half of her body was strewn over the box of tapes, her side bleeding, but her legs were lost somewhere in the twisted metal. "Emilia?" he croaked out. Tears filled his eyes as he carefully reached under her to grab his phone. He hit _one,_ then _send._

"Sammy." he managed.

Just then, he spotted something with shining white eyes walking towards the car.

"They got us, Sammy."

"Dean! What's going on?... Dean!"

"Find them fast, Sam, Em's not lookin' so good."

The next thing Sam heard was twisting and grinding metal as the monster ripped the door off of Dean's side, dragging him out of the car. The monster took the phone out of Dean's hand and crushed it in his own. Dean was half-conscious, looking up at him.

"What are you.." he coughed, choking on some of his blood. "..Gonna do with her?" He rolled over onto his side, allowing the blood to fall from his mouth.

"Just sit tight, boy, you'll see." the monster said, delight in his voice.

"She's not even alive is she?" he asked.

Just then, a crunching, screeching noise came from the car. But Dean couldn't turn to see it. It was another one, prying the bloody, broken mess of Emilia's body out of the car.


	10. Family Reunion

As a tall, heavier long-haired man carried Em from the car, she struggled to regain continuousness, bound inside of her vessel and its needs. But she didn't stop fighting. She clawed her way back to the surface, her eyes snapping open, shining bright white. She clutched at the monster's throat, burning him as he choked.

So fast that it was barely visible to the human eye, they were both standing upright in the street, ten feet apart from each other. Emilia moved swiftly, quickly popping all of her limbs back into place, all her wounds closing. She eyed Dean mangled on the ground and glared at the man, circling in on him.

In another instant, the man snapped off a big jagged piece of the Impala, hurrying quickly, trying to stab Dean. But Em was faster. She caught his arm, mid-swing, flinging him back into the wreckage. She charged in after him, fury blazing in her white-hot eyes. She clutched at his throat again, burning him, feeling his bones and tendons snap in her hands.

She saw his wild eyes flicker to the others and waved her hand, pushing them back - And keeping them back.

The man kicked wildly, managing to get one foot on her, kicking her away. She smacked into the wall and hit the ground. But she quickly got on her feet again, determined not to give them any time to get to Dean.

She looked around her. It was three to one. She was out-numbered. It would only be a matter of time before they fought through her defenses and killed them both. Out of options, she growled.

"You can take me!" she yelled to all of them. "But Dean goes free."

The man with the mangled throat spoke. "You like this boy?" he asked with a smile.

She glared. "If you hurt him, I'll grind you into slop from the inside out." she growled through her teeth.

"I'll take that as a yes." he said, his smile growing wider. "We won't hurt him. Just call it a little insurance. Once you're compliant, once we have you right where we need you, we'll let the little boy go."

"You're lying."

He shrugged. "Maybe I am. But I could just so easily snap his neck right now." he said, leaning over Dean's body, stroking his neck with his fingertips. Em's hand flew up, flinging the man back. He rolled into the middle of the street. He jumped up, instantly going to stand in front of her.

"We're going to be taking you and the boy in one piece. You should consider yourself lucky, Em."

"Leave him out of this." she warned.

"Sorry, honey, I can't do that, you see.. we need the boy to get you to do what we say. He's the strings and we're your masters, puppet, now you _will _do as you're told or.. he dies." she said with a delighted smile.

"You'd better enjoy yourself now, Azara, because I'm coming after you." she said, closing the distance between them. "You won't know where, you won't know when and you won't know how. I'll be right under your nose and next time, all it takes is me digging in just a little further.. But I didn't want to ruin my pedicure." She swiftly kneed him in the stomach, releasing her hold on the others.

She quickly ran to Dean, pulling the top half of his body into her arms. She sighed in relief once she determined he'd live.

"Well, isn't this a lovely family reunion." she mumbled to herself as her brothers and sister closed in on her and Dean.

Emilia's brothers grabbed her, each of them taking an arm. Azara was six foot four, heavier built with back curly hair down to his shoulders. He wore all black, simply dressed in jeans, a t-shirt and a pair of biker boots. Her other brother, Ezekiel was just as tall but much slimmer with blonde-white hair like Emilia's, spiked and pulled every which way. He wore khakis and a tan sweater, no doubt just the outfit of his vessel.

Her sister - who went by Clara - scooped Dean up into her arms. Em instantly tensed. Her sister was a curvy brunette with stunning brown eyes and a dazzling smile. She wore a tight purple dress that went to her knees with black tights and heels. She looked down at Dean's face, smiling and then looked up to Em.

"Oh, he's beautiful, Em, I'll give you that. But he's just.. a meat suit." she said the last three words with disgust.

Emilia was angry beyond words. As she looked at Clara, she ran through all the ways she could kill her at that moment if she wanted to... If she didn't have Dean in her arms. She didn't speak and she didn't move but she soothed herself with a promise. She was going to kill them. All she had to do was get Dean some place safe and wait for her moment.

But she wasn't quite aware of Dean's stubbornness. Surely, he wouldn't allow any of it. Something her siblings forgot to factor in was who was actually inside that meat suit. Something else they forgot to factor in was the other one just like him, only five years stronger, wanting nothing more than their heads on a stick.

Back at the motel, Sam and Dean were packing their arsenal, along with every type of blade they had. Dean was numb, running on autopilot. As much as the grief threatened to cripple him, he wouldn't allow it, not when there was work to be done. He didn't know if she was alive or dead, but he knew he was going to get her back, whether it was just her corpse, whether it killed him in the process, he wouldn't leave her with them.

Cass appeared in their room. "They have a forcefield up around them."

"That's great, where is it?" Dean asked, uncaring.

"About an hour south of town."

"I need you to get me there now."

"That's ill-advised."

"I don't care!"

"Well, I do! I consider Emilia my sister, more than any of the angels and I need her safe just as much as you do which is why I can't allow you to go. You finish with your packing, you let me take the necessary precautions and then we go." he said, final, disappearing from the room.

Dean turned back to his bag, stuffing his weapons inside. He was a restless panicked mess on the inside. But on the surface, he was determined. He stored his fury away, letting it fuel the fire inside of him and when he was finally free to hit his target, he wouldn't miss, he was sure.

Twenty minutes later as Sam and Dean sat there, their bags packed and ready, Cass reappeared. "We're safe now." A small grin lit up his face, shining mostly in his eyes. "They won't see us coming."

Sam and Dean stood up at once, their bags slung over their shoulders. They stood there in a small loose circle.

"That's good." Dean said, his voice deadly.

"Do you have any idea where they'd keep them?" Sam asked.

"Hidden." Cass said instantly. "They're arrogant abominations, but they're good at what they do."

"Oh, I'll get it out of 'em, don't worry."

"Good. Then let's not waste anymore time." Cass, said, touching their foreheads.

They reappeared, standing in a dirt lot by an abandoned hospital, the sun blistering down on them.

"They in there?" Sam asked.

"Yes." Cass began. "Both of you must keep your weapons near you at all times, you must be ready to charge them with everything you've got without hesitation. Never stop fighting because that's how they'll win."

Sam and Dean nodded. "Of course." they both said.

They slipped in silently through a side entrance, each of them holding a blade in one hand, a gun in the other and their bags on their backs. They heard talking echoing through the empty halls, creeping closer to the noise. Cass peaked through the open doorway, spotting Emilia tied in cloth with an old Enochian binding spell on it. He knew at once that she was powerless. Dean's hands and legs were bound as he laid in the middle of the floor on his side.

Cass knew now that they couldn't open fire, not with how fast they were, not when they could so easily hurt them. Silently, he grabbed the guns from their hands. He took the bullets out of each of them, crushing them in his hands. They stared at him confused, but they trusted him.

They each took another blade in their hand as they prepared to go in. Ezekiel and Clara stepped out, leaving Azara alone. This would be their moment. Cass peaked in at the scene and readied himself.

"They have a spell, blocking the room. I can break it and if I can distract him, you boys can get in too. Once I'm in, don't stop pushing."

They nodded, ready.


	11. To Live And Let Die

Castiel rushed in, a wave of light engulfing the whole room as he broke through their protective forcefield. He took the long blade, shoving it through Azara's neck, lifting him up off the ground.

"Now!" he yelled.

Sam and Dean charged in, Dean running to untie Emilia, Sam running to untie his brother.

Azara pushed Cass away, pulling the blade out of his throat, turning the weapon on Cass. He zeroed in on him and Em pulled wildly at her restraints, desperate to help him. She jumped out of her ties, quickly waving Azara away with her hand. He slammed into the wall, hitting his head on the ceiling before crashing to the ground.

Sam, both Deans, Em and Cass inched closer together forming a tight barrier. If they went after one of them they'd have to get through all of them.

Em's three siblings formed a barrier of their own, standing in front of them.

Azara smiled at Em. "I'm gonna gut him while you watch, you know that?" he said, his eyes turning to past Dean.

Em just about charged him, but Cass put his arm up. "Not yet, Emilia."

She glared murderously, craving his death. Meanwhile, Cass was watching for something. He was eying each of them carefully, waiting for any specific signs of weakness in their stance. It would be their window to attack and their greatest chance at succeeding.

"You know, I think I might dig into that pretty scalp of yours, little sister." Clara said in a soft, romantic voice.

"Oh, you're not gonna get a hand on her, sweetheart." Future Dean said, with a smirk, his eyes blazing.

"Ooh, is that so, big boy?" she said, smiling, entertained. She took a step forward reaching for Emilia.

"Go!" Cass yelled, the fight erupting at his word.

Future Dean caught Clara's hand, shoving her away, taking a protective stance in front of Emilia. Em turned around, standing back-to-back with Dean, moving with him, not giving them an inch to get to him.

Ezekiel charged after Sam and Sam stabbed him with both of his blades, one in his shoulder, the other in his side. With a wave of his hand, Ezekiel pinned him to the wall.

Meanwhile, Cass was fighting of Azara and Clara was circling Dean and Emilia, waiting for a break in their defenses. But they matched her moves in perfect synchronization. Cass managed to grab a hold of Azara's head, sending a fire coursing through his brain. This would kill any person instantly but it only stunned Azara.. But that was all Cass needed. Sam hit the ground, Past Dean quickly running over to him

"Sam, Dean, stand back to back." Cass said urgently, still holding Azara's head. "Try and stay in formation, it will keep them from getting through your blind spots."

Azara roared in agony, falling to his knees. Sam and Dean did as they were told, swinging off Ezekiel as he tried to charge. Clara tried to charge Dean, Emilia quickly jumping between them, grabbing her throat. With a delighted smile, Emilia squeezed as hard as she could, snapping through all the tendons and bones until she was only holding her by her spinal cord. She turned Clara around in her hand, laying her on her stomach, keeping a hold of her. She put her foot on her back, pulling out her spinal cord, tearing the last vertebra away with a final tug.

"No!" Ezekiel roared. But it was too late. Emilia threw the spine and head aside, already braced for Ezekiel's attack.

But, it wasn't her he was now after. Ezekiel was smart - able to tell people's weaknesses. He knew Emilia's was Dean, but he also knew what would hurt Dean more than anything else in the world, even death.

So quick that neither Deans or Sam even saw it, Ezekiel had Sam on his knees, his neck held tight in his strong grasp.

"Let him go, you bastard!" past Dean yelled.

"If you hurt him, so help me God, I will kill you with my bare hands." future Dean said through his teeth, his voice deadly.

"Stop! Everybody just stop." Emilia said, tears in her eyes. She paced slowly towards Sam and Ezekiel. "I'll go with you and Azara, I'll do what you say, just let him go." she said, her voice, shaky, her eyes desperate.

She eyed both Deans carefully as they inched closer towards Sam and Ezekiel, matching their moves as they all closed in on them. Castiel dropped Azara, leaving him passed out on the ground. He turned towards the scene, preparing to help.

"This isn't about you anymore!" Ezekiel yelled with tears in his eyes. "You killed Clara! Now I'm going to kill him." he said, wrapping one arm around Sam's throat. She nodded just slightly to the Deans and they made their move, grabbing Ezekiel just long enough to distract him. Emilia swooped in quickly, taking Sam away. She handed him to Cass.

"Get him out of here now." Emilia said. Cass disappeared with Sam and she quickly rushed back to grab Ezekiel, but he managed enough energy to push both Deans away into the wall behind him. He kept them pinned there as he stumbled to his feet. She tried to grab his throat bit he was just a moment quicker, catching her hand with one hand and grabbing her throat with another.

"Let her go!" future Dean yelled. Both Deans panted, pushing with all their strength, urgently trying to fight the hold.

Emilia growled like an animal, her eyes shining bright white as she tried to summon enough strength to fight him off. She grasped at him with her free hand as he squeezed, trying to find purchase on him. Just as he started to break the skin on her neck, she managed to grab a fist of his hair, pulling as hard as she could. She pulled with all the strength she could muster and slowly, the skin on the top of his head started tearing away from his skull. His hold on her weakened, allowing her to gain the upper-hand.

She kicked him away and he hit the wall between the Deans. All at once, they hit the ground. In a last desperate act, he reached for past Dean, locking his arm around his throat, squeezing. Future Dean felt his life slipping just the same, his eyes wide as he tried to grasp for air.

Emilia gritted her teeth, pure fury coursing through her. She lifted her hand, contorting her fingers into a fist and suddenly, Ezekiel's hold on Dean loosened. He writhed and gasped on the floor as she twisted his insides. She growled, pinning him to the wall, ready to go for the kill. She shifted her focus, squeezing his heart until it broke in his chest. Lifeless, Ezekiel hit the ground.

Both Deans stood up, watching Emilia as she stomped towards his body.

"What are you doing?" past Dean asked.

"He's only gone for now." she began as she started squeezing his throat. "I've got to destroy any chance this body has at functioning again." She was all business as she ripped out his head and spine, but past Dean's face was wrinkled in disgust. Meanwhile, future Dean was practically high with relief.

She finished off Ezekiel and turned for an unconscious Azara. But he wasn't there. Fear instantly slithered through Emilia chilling her to the bone. Her knees started shaking as she glanced around for any sign of her most dangerous sibling. She found nothing.

Castiel reappeared, seeing the two mangled corpses and the three of his friends in one piece, but he immediately noticed Azara's absence as well. Emilia cringed into his chest, her hands covering her face. Castiel put his arms around her, his face angry. He was angry at himself.

"I shouldn't have left Azara. I'm sorry, Emilia."

She couldn't speak.

Past Dean was furious, but his rage was nothing compared to his future self in that moment. Future Dean's eyes were closed, his hands were fists at his sides, his breath was ragged and hard. Past Dean's eyes flickered back and forth between the devastated Dean and the doomed Emilia, understanding.

He always believed somewhere in his mind that future Dean was himself and he knew that Emilia was good, but after everything, he finally found himself able to grasp the concept that he would be that future Dean one day. He would feel the loss of that girl if he couldn't find a way to save her.

"We'll get him." past Dean assured. They all looked up at him. "We gotta keep on our guard, we gotta stick together and, hell, probably sleep in shifts too, but we _will_ get the bastard."

Emilia didn't share his same enthusiasm, future Dean was all but crippled with grief but Castiel was already making up a game plan in his head. The odds were up in the air but the pessimism alone tilted them just a little more in Azara's favor.

Emilia, Sam and both Deans quickly got out of town, past Dean taking the wheel, Sam up front and future Dean and Em side by side in the back. After a while of tense silence, future Dean spoke.

"So, what happened with Lisa?" he asked his past self.

"You know what happened." he snapped, his eyes hard. Their experiences, however, differed slightly.

Future Dean grimaced, putting his head down.

Lisa wasn't a shaking mess the first time around. He thought back on how coldly she kicked him out and didn't enjoy watching himself go through it again. The shaking fear wasn't out of guilt for hurting Dean, but out of fear for her life. But Emilia didn't go with Dean the first time, she stayed hunting with Sam and at this time the first time around Sam and Emilia shared a tighter bond than her and Dean. Dean even joked with Sam after he got back about how he was going to be her brother in law.

But something in Dean shone to Emilia the first time she saw him and her bond with Sam - While still intact - was trumped by something much more powerful. Sam and Em quickly fell into their big-brother-in-law, little-sister-in-law roles, even though Dean and Em weren't anything yet.

Ironically, it was Sam and Em's already-established bond that made Dean trust her the first time around. But without that, how it would come to be now was a complete mystery to everyone.

They got along very well but they were both incredibly stubborn. This would lead to passionate screaming fights, tears and rage but they challenged each other like no one else could. She'd push Dean, he'd push back but that's how they worked. But with things changing and them so determined to defy their fates, it wasn't set in stone.

They laid low at a motel in Lafayette, Indiana called the Rose Bud. It was twelve bucks a night with cheap blue paint on the walls, a mattress and a box-spring buried in black bedding in the corner and one little lamp on a cheap side table to light the whole room.

Sam and Dean took the floor despite Em's protests. She'd sleep on the floor out of guilt and Dean would crawl into the bed, half-awake. It always made her smile.

She and Cass would make runs for food and drinks. Cass was always urgent but she always made sure to get the boys what they wanted. After all, having these people she didn't even know helping her was in her mind, so humbling. She wanted to repay the good they were doing for her but it could never be enough.

For two months, as Castiel worked to build an army, they stayed in that room, sleeping in shifts, watching the same seven videos on the ancient TV in the middle of the room.

Sam and the Deans were getting beyond restless, practically climbing the walls to get out. But they wouldn't leave. Not with the danger that loomed just outside of that door. If they let their guard down, if they were distracted, that's all it took for Azara to end them. Emilia understood that better than anyone as she spent a lot of her long life on the run from her family.

Having the boys in danger made growing closer to them extremely painful. They would often be left with nothing else to do but talk.

One night, past Dean climbed onto the bed, unable to deal with Sam snoring in his ear. Emilia laughed in the darkness. Dean peaked his head over the left side of the bed where she lay.

"I'll trade you spots." he whispered.

The street lights shining through the dirty little window casted a small ray of light across Em's face. She shook her head. "No, just go to sleep." she said, smiling.

"But I want to sleep on the floor."

"No you don't."

"I wouldn't ask you if I didn't want to." he pointed out.

She sighed, annoyed. "No, I know your shoulder's been giving you problems, you're not sleeping on this floor." she said, her quiet voice forceful.

Dean rolled his eyes, grabbing his blanket and pillow. "Sure I am." he said, climbing down to the floor by her.

She raised her eyebrows, angry. "I can snore too, you know."

He chuckled, rolling over on his side to face her. "You need to learn to be a little bit more selfish."

"I could tell you the same thing."

"Oh, come on, I'm plenty selfish." he said, smirking.

"What planet do you live on?" she scoffed, playfully.

"Planet Dean where I drink when I want, get laid when I want and kill when I want." he challenged with a grin.

"And why are you here now, exactly?"

"'Cause I like to kill some evil sons of bitches. It makes me happy." he said, enthusiastic.

Her eyes narrowed as she tried to keep a smile off her face. "You don't enjoy the part where you save people?"

He shrugged and smiled wide at her. "Well, that depends on how they thank me."

She laughed, burying her face in her pillow. "Fair enough." she mumbled.

"So, you've really spent all this time running from your family?" Dean asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

She turned her head back to him, a small grin leftover on her face. "Yeah. Especially Azara." she said, pessimism leaking into her voice. "To tell you the truth, I don't know how much of a chance there is for me but if this gets too rough, you take Sam and you run, do you hear me?"

Dean shook his head. "Sorry, sweetheart, but we can't do that."

"Why the hell not?"

"'Cause we chose this life. We chose to save people."

"I'm not a person." she whispered.

"That doesn't matter, you're innocent. Just 'cause you're a whatever the hell you are, that don't give me a right to just let you die if I can do anything to stop it."

His kindness only made her feel worse. "I'm not worth it, I'm not worth you dying." she said, desperately needing him to understand.

"What I do, Em.. it's worth it. It took me a while to realize it and I fought like hell against it, but I know it's right and I couldn't live right again if I didn't stand my ground on this."

"But I'm not worth Sam dying." she said, pulling out the big guns, trying to get him to understand, wanting to keep them all safe.

He sighed. It was true to him. He'd kill anyone else in the world over Sam. "He makes his own choices. Believe me, if he's here, it's 'cause he wants to be. Hell, I'll always protect him but I can't control him. The guy does what he wants and as long as it's the right thing, I'm happy."

"But him getting himself killed isn't right."

"Hate to break it to you, but that's just not true."

She stared at him, not following. "How so?"

"I know you and Sam have been talking and I'm sure he's told you about Ruby."

She nodded.

"That evil bitch manipulated him a million and one ways, had me and him swinging at each other." Dean paused, his voice growing sad, remembering. "She was the one that used him to get Lucifer out of his cage."

She stared at him, her eyes sad. "That's awful."

"I always wanted to blame her - I still do, but he made those choices with her."

A strand of hair fell into her eyes and he caught it, tucking it behind her ear, wanting to look into her eyes as he spoke. "But Sammy tried. He did everything he could to try and set things right and he went down swingin', takin' Lucifer and the whole damn Apocalypse with him." he said, grinning proudly.

"Well, I see your point, but that's different."

"How?" he said, getting short-tempered.

She stared into his angry eyes, debating. "Doesn't matter."

He chuckled, angry. "Oh, it sure as hell does now tell me." he demanded.

She folded her arms, rolling onto her back. "It's not rocket science."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"You can't compare me to the world, it ridiculous. Now, is the world worth saving? Absolutely. But me?-"

She stopped, choked up by Dean as he glared murderously down at her. "What is wrong with you?" he asked, truly wondering. "Having that low an opinion of yourself isn't going to get you anywhere." she said, shaking his head.

"I'm sick of putting people in danger like this, I don't want things to be about me anymore." she whispered, tears in her eyes.

"Have you ever considered the fact that maybe this isn't about you?" he snapped. "This isn't about you, this is about the people that care about you. They're all helping 'cause they love you and you need to suck it up and accept it. They want to see you happy but you know what they see?"

Em shook her head, a little frightened by Dean's intensity. They both knew what he really meant every time he said _they._

"They see you grieving over the mess you think youcaused, they see you feeling sorry for yourself, but if you put your own bull shit aside, you could actually see how lucky you are and you might actually smile, now is that such a bad thing?"

She shook her head again. "You're right."

Dean glared, still angry. "Look, I know this is rough but you're missing the point."

"What's the point?" she asked in a small voice, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"To enjoy every day you got." he said, calmer, patiently catching the tear with his finger, wiping it away. He felt bad for making her cry.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, barely audible.

"Why?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

She shook her head. "I was wrong to make it about me like that, I was wrong to feel sorry for myself when I have these amazing people helping me."

"You need to stop being sorry. You can't control that your family's a bunch of dicks and we know that."

She grinned at him. "Thank you. Thank you so much for everything. You've been amazing beyond words, both of you have and your brother and Castiel." she said, smiling a little wider.

"Don't mention it, sweetie." he said with a grin.

Her eyes became sad. "But still-"

Dean put his fingers over her mouth. "Don't."

She closed her mouth and he sighed in relief.

He took his hand off her mouth, putting it on the side of her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "Just relax. It's all okay."

She closed her eyes, reassured. "Good."

He slid a little closer, kissing her forehead.

"Dean?"

He pulled away, keeping his forehead pressed to hers.

"I think he's right." she said, her lips almost brushing his.

He knew what she meant. He kissed her softly, pulling her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him in return, kissing him back. This time, he slipped his tongue into her mouth, much to her enjoyment. Her heart started to race.

They were both done with fighting fate. If fate gave them each other, they didn't want to fight it.


End file.
